In a move rather like the moment I left the Church of England or when I switched from PC to Mac, I stopped following rugby nearly 20 years ago when I took the solemn oath of allegiance to Aston Villa Football Club. Little did I know at the time the immense heartbreak this would bring my children who touchingly followed me into this… well it’s not an obsession. But it gets close some times. I have many examples from my Villa experience of defeats and posted an earlier blog about the then Villa Captain Micah Richards showing leadership and courage when things were going very very badly wrong. But mercifully things are generally better at Villa Park so my re-visit to the challenge of defeat on leaders needs to go elsewhere. And to the Rugby World Cup.
It is a matter of record that England lost the final and were comprehensively outplayed. But amongst all the frankly wonderful images and words about South Africa, the one I picked up on is at the top of this blog. It is the England team who have exceeded expectations to arrive at the final only to be found wanting. Disappointing hardly covers it. I guess it is at least at the level I felt when I realised my business – the one I had remortgaged my house against – was not going to work. I would guess that everyone has those sort of events in life. But at this particular very public moment, England captain Owen Farrell has decided to put his own feelings to one side and gather the team around and say something. He didn’t have to. But he did. And I would LOVE to know what he said. My bet was he was thanking everyone for their work, suggesting everyone sits with the crushing feelings of disappointment and then moves on to a new season where they can hopefully one day start to enjoy the game again. Perhaps he said that although rugby is important, it isn’t the only thing and this was only one day in their lives and that one day they would come to appreciate that.
Is this of any relevance to leaders in less public arenas? Well actually I think it is far more important what is said in defeat than in success. To be realistic about the defeat and yet positive about the future. To reinforce what went well whilst owning up to where the failure came from. No blame. But taking responsibility. Balancing accountability without wasting effort accusing others of being the reason for the failure. Thats where the leader can set the tone one way or the other. It is about the leader taking responsibility for their position at the front of the charge. As the one who would either raise the cup in triumph or gather the bloodied team in defeat.
I have learned my most important lessons from failure. And whilst the England rugby team will have a huge amount of regret and disappointment to overcome, in the long run it has the potential to serve them well. I hope the team recuperate and in time, learn the lessons. Oh, and I don’t mean the technical stuff which does of course need to be analysed.
I mean how this moment could well be the making of them as people.